Random Thoughts of Spontaniety

Fun Problems

2005-03-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

That thrill feeling...that wonderful thrill feeling.

You feel it when you ride a roller coaster.
You feel it when you know you've pushed the car you're driving to its limits.
You feel it when you did something naughty or extremely mischievous and you're on the verge of getting caught.
You feel it when you do something crazy for the first time.
You just feel it.

Thoughts were running through my head these past few days...
Summer, beach, fun, adventure, thrill-seeking...

crazy thoughts...
crazy me.

There are some crazy times when you get yourself into a dilemma, when your thoughts and emotions go into riot mode...
that stupid pero whattheheck thrill
that bawal pero masaya thrill
that bahala na thrill
that thrill.

It has to be summer. The effects of summer on my system...

i dont know if you know what im talking about...
Try to read me, Ice... if you still can! haha...

haha...

Sarap mag-beach!
I'm targeting 10 beach outings this summer!
asteeeg!

Youth gives us the right to make mistakes and learn from our mistakes.
Youth is such a wonderful wonderful thing!

@ 21
You're not pressured to set things right...
You have freedom...
You have the vigor...
You have the drive...
Not that moolah, though...
But you have all the crazy ideas...

hehehe... i better do more thinking and ask other people's opinions about my thoughts and mixed emotions.

Oh and more beach-ing to come this summer.
ARe You Game? set a gimik.
text me 09279140755

and here's something to ponder on...
How many first kisses have you had?
as long as you call the kiss a kiss...it counts.
your rules, your answers.

***
more beach-ing next time

Overhauling Dindi

2005-03-14T03:43:00.000+08:00

Yep, time to do some major overhauling!

I'm about to step into another crucial chapter of this adventure people call life... i prefer calling it a race. hehe...

Time to overtake slow racers, do better cornering, better acceleration, better traction control, better shifting techniques, better betters…time to pick up the pace with the big boys.
I’ll need massive engine upgrades, suspension tuning, bodywork, etc…
Time to overhaul me.

I don’t know why I’m actually blogging this, but what the heck…

Here are my summer plans (or shall I dare say instant Post Graduation Plans)
with a difficulty rating to help guide me in my attempts in winning this race…

DIFFICULTY RATING ( sisiw ----------@ @@ @@@ @@@@ @@@@@ -------- almost improbable)

* This blog needs an overhaul… this template sucks and I’m starting to learn webpage designing through tutorials available throughout the net…
Yeah, right click, View source…fascinating! @@

* My monitor needs a paint job…I’m coloring D4’s monitor green and yellow… @

* Surf is undergoing extensive body work courtesy of me… mas pogi na sya ngayon, with paint improvements, ready for trading with Kylie (which I really should be focusing on after the thesis…) This is why I now have a slight tan on my shoulders and back… @@

* My room needs a change in atmosphere… room makeover for me: new paint, new lighting, hopefully an aircon upgrade for D4… suggestions in, people…I’d appreciate em… @@@@

* No more setting-up lakwachas, roadtrips, gimiks, etc. for the mean time – maybe it’s about time I just wait around for people to do the planning this time, and I’ll just do the tagging along part for a change. More time to focus on me and some other stuff. @

* Find a personal, legal source of instant income (aside from CARD and other CAM projects) for expenses this summer season… @@@

* Read more, which I am apparently starting to do… @

* Resolution: no more street racing when I have a passenger on-board. Unless provoked significantly by a stupid driver or a big-fat Toyota Altis… and oh yeah, renew my license. @@

* Learn Flash, Dreamweaver, and other WEB design tools by either enrolling in an Informatics class for these or self-teach ulit (pero baka matagal)… I might just enroll. @@@@

* help out Nix with her yearbook… to finally make up for more bonding time with Nixdude (and hopefully the entire gang…Dino where art thou?). @@

* More meaningful, enjoyable bus rides and beach trips with Ma-anne… and bring her to San Marcelino. @

* Wardrobe upgrade – will need help from the girls… @@@

* Fitness upgrade – will need all the help I can get! Previous attempts were failures! damn... @@@@

* Do the AC film this summer (before June) and set-up more bonding adventures with the AC, especially now that Nicole and Misty are studying in Baguio… @@@@

* Start C.A.M. day-one (will need Markdude and Jo to get this together for a good start)… @@@

* Open my very own bank Account! @

* Finish the lenten documentary and submit it to video contests. @@@

Quite a list, huh?
Updates soon, I hope.
Time to do some serious racing.

more next time
***

A Life-Changing Bus Ride

2005-03-02T13:45:00.000+08:00

what is it with Bus Rides, huh?
Maybe its the contemplative mood that brings me into a trance of a series of random thoughts...
or maybe its just the exhaust fumes along EDSA, triggering these random spontaneous thinking capsules.

whattaheck.

Anyway, I had the most emotionally moving bus ride of my life a few days ago.
I have no major qualms about riding buses, airconditioned, ordinary, whatever... but some things are just not quite uh...suited...for adventuring with buses.

You don't get what i'm saying for sure.

whattaheck.

I had the most emotionally moving bus ride of my 21 years.
Sabado night. (Sunday early morning, actually)
I was on a roundtrip to Bicutan at around 2 in the morning, riding an old ricketty bus along EDSA.
Just an ordinary adventure tripping for me, but the emotional impact was different.
That bus ride made me realize that I am a blessed for who I am.
Naks.
No seriously, the bus ride made me feel bad about life...about how some people whose dreams and aspirations of a better life have to make their way through bus rides like that.

Maanne spent her Saturday with me here at home, but I had to bring her home to Bicutan at around 1am.
Adventure-tripping we went with that bus ride.
Things we have to go through kapag walang sasakyan.
We were game anyway.

I was in that bus for an adventure.
The other people there needed the bus ride to go to their work... some were on their way home, looking dead tired from work and all that jazz...
There were a group of girls (showgirls, I presume) who needed to work that night. They got off the bus Cubao.
A mom with 2 babies, riding that bus, on her way home.
I even saw Jordan along Commonwealth, from basketball practice I suppose.
all that jazz, yeah.

I decided that night that i have to get Surf back and sell him here.
I dont want to have Maanne go through another bus ride like that ( and have an asthma attack because of EDSA).
I dont want to go through another emotional-trip on a Saturday night.

This weekend, I'm going on another bus ride to Baguio.
No more emotional-weirdness tripping hopefully.

I'll still get my Kylie.
:)

***
more randomness next time.

WHERE is KYLIE!?

2005-02-22T10:53:00.000+08:00

malapit na... i can feel her.
dammit.

Ngaaaargh...

Summer is near.
Summer is near!

New Kids on the Block, had a bunch of hits...
Chinese food makes me sick...

Rock on!

Thoughts from a 12am Bus Ride

2005-02-19T00:21:00.000+08:00

and the saying goes...
all good things must come to an end.

they fuckin' do.
they fuckin' do.

February IS a chaos month.
March scares me.

Thoughts from a 2am Bus Ride

2005-02-06T02:31:00.000+08:00

i am happy.
i am very happy.
i am so blessed, and i am so thankful for everything i have...

family, friends, peers, pains, adventures... they all rock!

I just spent a very meaningful Saturday night with my bestest bespren in the whole wide world and the gang...
Nix, Rudy, Haze, Aids, and Ron...

Dino is still out there in the outskirts of the Cordillera mountain range region...hehehe...

life is a great gift and we should spend our time with people we love, squeezing the fun and happiness out of every second, every moment of this life that we have...

February...
Emotional Chaos month...
it always has been an emotionally challenging month for me (and to people within a relatively close friendship vicinity)...
Things will start to get tougher by the days for most of us...
i don't know why, but emotions just seem to start firing up this month... some good, some bad, some horrific.

Nonetheless, all these will lead to maturity for most of us.
and maturity is always a good thing.

at my current state, i can say that i am happier than most of my friends.
this realization i just had while i was on a bus from Cubao, on my way home...
i am happier in most basic aspects of my life...
i have a cool family
i have the bestest friends
i have the bestest girlfriend
i even have the bestest ex-girlfriend
i have Peter Rabbit, Marian Viafore, Ricowsky, D4, Natasha, Pink, Surf, etc...(although kylie is still out there, somewhere...)
i have my sanity intact
i have the basics
i have some wants

i have me.

...and all that jazz...

i have friends who are going through some tough turmoils this season.
emotional whirlwinds...
emotional whirlwinds because of a loved one, because of a "wanting" for a loved one, or because of a confused state with a loved one...
madami, iba-iba...
ang hirap ng ganun...
those whirlwinds suck the happiness out of your system...

February is just the start, friends.
March is a more stressful, more chaotic month.

But all will be good in the end.
I can promise you that.
Just keep your ropes together.

The emotional chaos, the whirlwind, I experienced last year made me who I am right now, made me reach this point where i can say i'm happier than most people...
Those who were able to see how emotionally fucked-up I was then will definitely say that I'm much better now.
Wa-a-a-y better.
I hope this'll give a bit of hope to my buddies who need a bit of good news...

hey, no pain, no gain.

LOUD Shout out THOUGHTS for tonight

... i am starting to visualize a more definite future for myself.
... i am very happy with Marianne and how our relationship has been going for the past months.
... looking forward to an adventure-filled summer!
... thank God, i am finally able to maintain a stable state with Mesitlie, slowly eliminating the mess we've done.
... i missed hanging out with Nixdude and the bunch so much, tonight was sooo great
... i'm proud of you, Jamie, you keep yourself on track
... Shweeemah and Rosbern, im still sorry for last year's chaos, i miss hanging out with you guys
... Ice, Markdude, Aids don't lose your sanity, divert emotions as much as you can
... Nyonyi, Benson, Marie, Sab, bonding session ulit tayo sometime!
... Tanya and karl, you guys are on fire! keep it burnin' :)
... Jun and Isbeldude, keep inspiring me
... Crazy Ants Marching, the new BOB... malapit na Day One, Mark and Jo!
... Rhiz! movie ulit!
... Ja, Zeens, batchmates, ano balita?
... Atty. Leonardo Zulueta Jr.
... Rock on!

Prepare yourselves for a chaotic February.
Learn we shall.

*more randomness next time*

***

Bukid Tsunami

2004-12-30T03:17:00.000+08:00

The tsunami is a sign.
Change is here.

I spent three lazy days in Pap's bukid in Zambales.
Three days...
all i did was eat, sleep, eat, shoot, eat, edit, eat, sleep...

eat more.

Damn. I must've gained atleast 30lbs.
hehe...

Surf's gone.
He's still in Baguio, waiting for a new owner...
My kylie?
she's somewhere out there...waiting for me.

The tsunami is a sign.
Change is here.

Let us pray for the victims.
Let us pray for us.

Fear thine Ferrari

2004-12-03T14:44:00.000+08:00

I just have to post this dream i had last night!!!

Pap bought an old Ferrari (dunno what model it was) and gave me money to spruce up the car into a race car ...
The Ferrari was still in good shape... but it was much better after giving it the works a-la Gran turismo...

Then Pap tried it out sa isang racing course, said it was good...so I tried it out too...
It was awesome!

The power was excellent, the gears were tight, parang click-click lang ang shifting... Although i could vividly remember that the pedals were a bit far from my reach... but nonetheless, the car was excellent...
the dream was so real! i woke up still feeling the steering wheel...it was so cool!

I went against a Spruced-up Toyota Corolla, I made it eat dust. Hah!
Tonight, im going against a Porsche Carrera. hehehe.

***
im out to get you Kylie!

Cyber Stormin' List

2004-12-02T23:13:00.000+08:00

Christmas is just around the corner...
too bad December had to be welcomed by Winnie and Yoyong...

tough luck.

I was just stuck here at home today, with nothing to do, except maybe get me some rest and spend time in front of the PC...trying to do stuff...

Well, atleast I was able to meet 2 new cyber pals through miRc...
its been quite a while since i used miRc...coolness...

I had a cyber-discussion with Pi (a new cyber pal from Ateneo) a while back about theory vs. practice, which eventually lead into thoughts about Hitler, then the concept of love, then back to theory vs. practice, then leveling...

cool discussion i should say...

I hope wala nang bagyo sa 18th.

Damn, im turning 21 soon...
These are the prime years of our youth... (the Goddess years - according to tanya's sister)...
Quarter -life... as to how I prefer refering to the idea of being in the 20's zone.
These are the years when a person is most energetic and most physically attractive...

Here's a random thought:
Will I still grow taller?

And hey, guess what...Tito iLz (from Baguio) said someone is interested to buy Surf! coolness!
Hopefully I get to sell Surf really soon, so i can go hunt down my kylie...
Kylie!!!!

Which leads me to another Random thought...
I've never driven a kylie... nor i've actually riden one that's being driven on the street!
Agh!
Though I was able to "inspect" Kylies, engine, suspension, body and all...i've never driven one...
hahaha... i guess dreaming too much about driving a Kylie has already made the experience real for me.

A kylie is an EG Honda Civic hatchback, by the way...
Hopefully I get to buy one with a 1.6 engine installed.
... and 16" or 17" rims...
... and 10000w amps...
... and sigh.

or better yet, i hope i get enough money from Surf to set-up a really snazzy kylie...

Yoyong... ang ginaw.

yo, mesitlie, i hope you do well with the things you're goin' through right now...
keep yourself together, don't let other people push you around.
ironic it is, if you think about it.
its been 3 months already since last we saw each other, huh?
tagal na, dude pare... i hope you hang out with the poochers again sometime soon...

Isdude and jun! Congrats!!!!
Drive well!

Mark dude and Jo! We shall conquer the Prod world one step at a time... one bagyo at a time!
haha!
Hopefully we can go to Quezon na by next week...

Here's a weird thought:

We're working on a documentary about the insurance services of CARD in Laguna, Quezon and other areas of Southern Luzon.
Then calamity strikes... this will give us the opportunity to see how the insurance arm of CARD really works...
and put it in the docu...
scary ang timing ng bagyo sa Luzon...

yikes...
:(

Ice...you'll meet your "boy" on the 18th, i swear! hehehehe...

Tans and Carl! Rock on, wishing you guys all the best! Tans, prepare well!!! *wink *wink

hehehehe....

Skipp!!! new life!!! We shall celebrate!
soon!

Here's my B-day / Christmas Wish List nga pala ulet...hehehe...
Revised na to:

1. Orange Climacools
2. Sun Sim (with a nokia 3300)
3. VCD or DVD collection of the anime series Initial D
4. Mobile USB HDD case
5. a new belt and wallet
6. CK crave
7. a MOMO steering wheel
8. Altec Lansing Speakers
9. cute bright colored socks
10. personalized car sticker "KYLIE"

hehehe... most of those are quite expensive, huh?
hehe...
hey, its a wish list... :p

But i expect the poocher girls to give me a mean girls Dance...mwahahaha. ;p

I wonder where my pet Skippy (the rubber roach) is?

***
merry christmas peeps!

30 laps, 1st place, No Thrill

2004-11-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

I drove 30 laps, Trial Maountain, Honda s2000 with a stock engine, semi-racing suspensions, race mufflers, soft slick tires...won 1st place, no challenge.

sucks.

Imagine if life is as easy as a GT race in a Sony Playstation... losing will be such an unknown feeling, winning becomes too common, life begins to suck.

Just a random thought.

Surf got busted.
Major.
Ran into a parked pick-up...ON HIS OWN.
Yep, no one was inside Surf, he just drove on his own...

how the hell that happened?
Well, pap left Surf parked without his brakes, 5 minutes later when everybody was inside the house, Surf went zooming into an Isuzu pick-up.

Surf has been my sidekick for the past 2 years, roadtrips, adventures, misadventures and all...
But he has to go.

But that wont stop me from going places no one will find.

Anyway...

About 2 months ago, i was about to post my "ultimate blog" here.
I poured out all my thoughts, emotions, and soul into a masterpiece ...
I click on Publish post and viola... Cannot Find Server...
I hit "Back" and viola...my masterpiece is gone.

badtrip pag nangyari yung ganun no?

I typed the whole thing again...
Poured out all my thoughts, emotions, and soul at that very moment, and this time, i saved the damn thing using MS word...
I didn't post it just yet, thinking that i may have to revise some stuff in the blog...
So I decided to upgrade my PC's BIOS first, downloaded an upgrade program, ran the software on my PC...and viola...

My motherboard crashed.
Dindi 3 (my old PC) is no more.

Damn.

Well, I took it as a sign.
Maybe Gos is saying "Thou shalt not post thine Blog of thine soul"
Maybe the blog i was about to post said too much of me.
Maybe the blog was so good, Shakespeare would have to rewrite all his shit.
Maybe the blog would eventually become the new 'New Testament"
Maybe the blog wasn't meant to be read by you.
Maybe.

Yeah, I guess the blog was saying too much.
Mali yung ganun.

So, 2 months later (2 exciting months, I should say) , I was able to get a new motherboard, new Sempron Processor, new life basically...

Yep, change comes in so fast, my life 2 months ago is already, shall i say, obsolete...

hehe...
I still dont have a new driver's license though... tamad ako magrenew e.

I went to Baguio 2 weekends ago with Maane and Surf, prior to the epidemic.
Hehe...close call?
Not quite.
It would be crazy if we were quarantined.

I'm turning 21 soon.
You, yes you (the one reading this)...are invited to my party
Dec 18 6pm-ish
15 Binayuyo St, Amparo Village, Novaliches, QC
Aryt?

So, there...
I'm nearing the end of my 20th lap of this Race I call life, and i'm damn proud to say im ranked 12,847,987...
Im working my way to the top and that's what makes being me so great...
I'm not No. 1.
...
...
...
yet.

***
more randomness next time.

Anger

2004-09-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

the sure path to losing

last night
the first time i reached that extreme level of anger
i was trembling, was so angry
i didn't like the feeling,
i don't like the feeling...
good thing she was able to pacify the anger...
else i would've done things i would be regretting right now...

anger

draining...emotionally, physically

anger

i hate anger

i hate being angry

i started to breathe
my mind cleared
emotions settled
was driving to de-stress
then a realization hit me
it scared the shit out of me

now i know i'm capable of being scared at myself.
damn.

...

Hiccc-uppy!

2004-09-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

aaaargh!
hehehe

she left a mark...
i had no clue it marked well...
QB had to be the one to discover it and broadcast her find to the 130 crew!!!
gasp!...
that was one major moment of embarassment...

no idea, eh?
mwehehe...

how i wish life can be a bit less complicated than how things are right now...
but its all good...

Mayee's soo pretty!
aka Clarisse of the 130 cast

i need a new cell phone...
surf is eating up too much gas...

MAMON rules!
mamon is that weird pillow-stuffed toy-i-dont-really-know-what-it-is thing...

Saturday night was great...
an empty stomach, 4 shots of tequila, a bottle of beer, and a long drive to cavite...
coolness...paid off well though...

the poochers?

well, everybody was at their own gimiks...

i miss a lot of things...

i think i need to sleep now, i have an 830 class later and an interview in NDCC... hmm...

a pointless read... much like milkshake

2004-09-18T16:16:00.000+08:00

so many crazy stuff has been happening to me these past weeks...
crazy!

... roadtripping to tagaytay to watch the sunrise

... bedscene with mesitlie
... bumping surf into Zeena's dad's vehicle

... video editing with Jo forever YATTA
... dimsum overload
... watching the Zpam-nator in his fairy godmother suit
... ultimate cramming for 191 - spent the whole day cram-editing a report only to find out we'll be reporting next week. damn.
tanya vs. musicians
... missing the expo on that foreign school thing and 'feng shuing'
overnighting at ice's.

and i love it!

1. Life - the source of all emotions and craziness
2. School - that weird freakin' feeling of obligated spontaniety
3. butterfly - that wonderful new thing you call connection and love
4. Poochers - pure fun in it's purest sense
5. Everything else - all of 'em

The adventures of PIZZA GUY - my new concept for a comic book or perhaps, even my future TV series
this is a story about how an ordinary, simple dude takes on the big responsibility of delivering pizza and going through the challenges of that one thing that makes the world go round and loco - life!

That new NOKIA clown ad is just so freakin' FREAKY!!!
i mean clowns attacking you!!! AAAGH! hehehe...

is love just a state of mind
or is it a verb that requires mental, physical and psychological stability
or is Keanna Reeves really Neo's sister?

i'll be heading to Dasma in a while...

Tans, stay strong.
Mark, stay stronger...staying away from beef and pork is no joke.

i miss Tuna Pie.

ran out of random thoughts... next time, maybe i'll write 'em down on a sheet of paper and just scan that paper and post 'em here...

or maybe ...

i don't know...

whatever works, works well for me.

Levels and Donald Duck

2004-09-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

...ber. The start of the Christmas season. cool...
September works.
Works well.

Surf has new rims, makes his wheels balloon wider (extending a bit outside the side fenders) making mud, grime and all that crap splatter on both the passenger and driver doors... dungis mode for Surf.
He just had a bath last monday and he's all grimy right now.

Damn. Maureen Larazabal is so sexy.

Aissa, Tans and I had a crazy talk last night about how we belong to different levels and how we're supposed to go about revolving around worlds of people who belong to a similar or different level...
Get it?
Not quite?

Aissa calls late night drive talks like that "Philosophical Bullshit with Leo" ... *smirk*

What the heck is a "level?"
It's very discriminating for people to gauge other people through this certain idea of leveling and yet, it somehow feels inevitable...

labo no?
o ako lang ang nalalabuan?

Skippy, my pet cockroach, is missing...

It's freezing...brrr...

Ma-anne ran out of battery a while ago while I was talking to her on the phone...
which leads me back to my thoughts on leveling...

Do I belong in her level? ... do we belong in a similar level?
But we belong to different fields... entirely different, end point to end point fields...

I somehow have this fixated thought that I couldn't identify my 'level...'
Maybe im a multi-level dude...
Thing is, I never really bothered thinking about my level... until that talk with ais and tans.

Level - being a mere state of mind of the ideals and goals one person sets for his or herself.
Level - a measure of one's dreams
Level - a measure of one's ability to belong
...
so many ways of looking at it, huh?

That's it...

I belong to all levels...or should I say, I am capable of adjusting to different levels.
Or I don't know...

Dinner with Markdude, Paolo, Jo, Ken, K-Ann, and Ais kanina was great! Nakakatuwa... Donald Duck meets Pong Pong!

Cram time again for our BC 131...damn.

Galit nanaman sa akin si Ma-anne. Foul joke from me.

Uh-oh...
Oh well...
More randomness next time.